Tag Archives: Handling Painful Emotions

Learning to Touch Fear

My daughter, Ellie, is training her horse to touch an object. Ellie points at the object and says the word ‘touch’ and her horse, Josie, touches it with her nose. This seems like an odd skill to train. So I … Continue reading

Posted in Acceptance and Commitment Training (ACT), Psychological Flexibility, Stress and resilience | Tagged , , , | 8 Comments

How Science Can Help You to Use Words to Weave Magic

It was like he was performing some form of magic. He seemed to knows how to structure his questions and interactions in a way that freed people up. As I watched, I could tell that he was doing something extraordinary … Continue reading

Posted in Behaviour change, Psychological Flexibility | Tagged , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Noticing How Desire Can Pull You Away From Your Values

When does desire pull you away from your values? It might be the impulse to buy more stuff that you don’t really need; watch TV instead of doing some exercise; let work dominate your  life; make poor choices that change your … Continue reading

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How Moments of Joy and Pain Can Help You Work Out What Really Matters To You

In this noisy world, where we are bombarded with messages telling us what to think and do, it can be hard to work out what is really important to us. In this Big Think Interview, Steve Hayes gives two suggestions for … Continue reading

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Tackling Our Culture of Cruelty

A recent Panorama investigation found systematic abuse of elderly residents going on in a UK care home.  Some of the most vulnerable people in our society were being ritually abused by their so-called carers: On the top floor of a … Continue reading

Posted in Acceptance and Commitment Training (ACT), Behaviour change, Psychological Flexibility, Stress and resilience, Values, Work | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

What To Do With Feelings of Shame

Do you think it is bad to feel ashamed? In this interview, Maarten Aalberse suggests that we have a tendency to feel ashamed about feeling shame and that this causes us problems. He suggests responding to those feelings with empathy … Continue reading

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Why I Am Not As Empathic As I Want to Be

Last year, my daughter Ellie, had her wisdom teeth out. It was horrible. It is a painful and unpleasant procedure and, to make matters worse, Ellie has a needle phobia. Ellie felt terrified but she hid it well and looked completely calm. … Continue reading

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On Holding Our Feelings Gently

This post is based on some writing by Dr Hank Robb. Hank is a deeply wise psychologist based in Oregon. You can see a video of him here. Sometimes, when we act to make something important in our lives, we experience painful … Continue reading

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The Benefits of Accepting Your Emotions and Treating Yourself Like A Child

Recently I was a bit upset. I was feeling sad, anxious and angry about a challenging situation in my life. I am not good with anger. My natural tendency is to fight it. I try to fix the feeling. My … Continue reading

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Successful People Often Feel Bad Too

For most of my adult life I have worked in roles where people told me the truth about how they felt. This privilege has meant that I know an important secret. The secret is that most of us have good … Continue reading

Posted in Meaning, Mindfulness, Stress and resilience | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments